


been waiting for your wake up call

by Hellokaelyn



Series: Fictober 2019 [13]
Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M, Fictober, sometime post 16x11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 12:54:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21036557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellokaelyn/pseuds/Hellokaelyn
Summary: Empty.That's how he felt lying in his bed after another woman had just left his apartment.





	been waiting for your wake up call

**Author's Note:**

> Now I just have to write the fic for todays prompt..
> 
> Prompt: "I never knew it could be this way."

Empty.  
  
That's how he felt lying in his bed after another woman had just left his apartment.   
  
That's how he felt every time since he started this, the string of one night stands. It was satisfying, but that only lasted for a second before that empty feeling was back in his chest.  
  
Nick breathed out a frustrated sigh and turned on his side, staring blankly at the digital clock on his nightstand. He should have been sleeping for work, but sleep wouldn't come.   
  
He knew what he'd walk into. They all seemed to know when he had been with someone the night before. At first he may have boasted about it, but that had ended quickly once he realized there was nothing to get a big ego about. He wasn't hurting anyone sure, but added onto the empty feeling, he was sometimes almost disgusted with himself.  
  
And so now when he walked into work and saw McGee's slightly disapproving look, Ellie's barely noticeable shake of the head combined with avoiding his eyes, Kasie's narrowed eyes..he felt a tug of disappointment in himself too. These people were really all he had, and he turned into _this_, someone they could be disappointed of.  
  
It started as a way to distract himself and let off steam instead of turning to drinking, something he promised he'd cut back on, and only grew from there (he will never admit the real reason it started).  
  
Nick shut his eyes, hoping sleep would come.  
  


* * *

  
  
This time when Nick walked into work, he avoided their eyes and kept his head down.   
  
He debated keeping his sunglasses on to hide how much like crap he knew he looked, but knew Gibbs would glare at him later until he did anyway. Slipping them off at his desk, he could feel McGee and Ellie staring at him.   
  
Bags under his eyes, eyes slightly red from no sleep, but there was also the lack of his usual spark that he of course didn't notice but the other two did.   
  
Ellie shared a concerned look with McGee. They could both see the longer his new 'lifestyle' went on, the more empty he was becoming. Literally and figuratively.  
  


* * *

  
  
Later that day, Nick sat at the table in Kasie's lab, chin resting on his hand as he watched her work.   
  
"You know..it's kind of nerve wracking knowing you're just staring at me." Kasie said while turning around, eyebrow raised.  
  
"Sorry." He mumbled. "Kind of spaced out a bit."  
  
"Well I wonder why." Her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Look Nick..we're all a little concerned."  
  
"Why?" His eyes narrowed. "I'm fine, great actually."  
  
"Uh-huh." Kasie rolled her eyes. "Nick, no offense but you're starting to look like you belong on one of Jimmy's morgue tables."  
  
"Ouch." Nick frowned. "I don't look that bad."  
  
"You don't, but add the way your eyes look or actually the way they lack much of anything, and the way you carry yourself lately..it's not good dude."   
  
Nick clenched his jaw, moving his eyes from her to the metal table.   
  
"I just don't understand it. Obviously this sleeping with different women thing isn't what you want, so why keep doing it?"  
  
"I don't know." He groaned, resting his head in his hands. "I really don't. At first it was just a distraction, an ego boost-"  
  
"Look, when was the last time you were with someone and didn't feel like this?"   
  
Nick hid his face in his hands, shutting his eyes as he thought back.   
  
Realization hit him.  
  
"When I first joined the team and dated this woman I met at the gym. I was still new and didn't really know the team yet so I never told them anything the three months we were together."   
  
Kasie smiled a little sadly. "As in, when you were in a relationship with the woman. Sounds to me you're more of a one woman kind of guy and not this player you're trying so hard to be."   
  
Nick groaned. "Shit."  
  
"And I think you know exactly what woman you want to fill that role." Kasie told him in a sing-song voice.  
  
"Okay I'm leaving."  
  
Jumping up he practically ran from the lab.  
  
"You can't keep denying true love Nicholas Torres!" Kasie shouted after him.  
  
Nick swore when he got in the elevator and the doors closed, he turned and dropped his forehead against the elevator wall, hard.   
  
He couldn't go down that hole again, could he?  
  
After she had started dating Boyd, he had forced himself to shove his feelings for her deep down. Then the string of one night stands began. When she had mentioned them breaking up, he had to try so hard not to let that happiness rising in his chest grow.   
  
Nick was over it, over her. He was.  
  
But two hours later as they were leaving for the day and Ellie casually put her hand on his arm softly asking if he wanted to grab dinner, one word rang through his head.  
  
_Liar_  
  
He had no idea at that moment how that one dinner was only the start and things would change over the course of the next month  


* * *

  
  
_"Psst Ellie!" _  
  
_Ellie stopped, raising an eyebrow as she turned around in the hall to see Kasie poking her head around the corner motioning her over._  
  
_"Kasie wha-" _  
  
_"Shh! Not so loud, someone could be listening!"_  
  
_"Okaaay-" Ellie dragged the word, giving her friend a 'you're crazy' look. "What's going on?"_  
  
_"I have some information on Nick you may or may not wanna know." Kasie whispered, leaning in close._  
  
_Ellie's eyes narrowed. "What do you know?"_  
  
_"Well say we had a talk in my lab...and that Nick may have figured out he's actually a relationship-type guy.."_  
  
_"What?" Ellie said, slightly loud as her voice went a little higher pitched._  
  
_Kasie frantically waved her arms. "Shh! You didn't hear it from me!"_  
  
_She turned and ran back down the hall._  
  
_"Kasie wait what!-" Ellie sighed, watching as Kasie turned the corner. "..and she's gone."_  
  
_Ellie walked back to the squad room in almost a daze as the information sunk in. _  
  
_Then a smile came to her lips._

* * *

  
  
A month later Nick was back in the same spot on his bed staring at the ceiling, except this time there was no empty feeling in his chest. Not even close.  
  
He turned his head to the other side of the bed as the bed dipped slightly as another body joined him.  
  
Nick leaned over and kissed her, both of them smiling when he pulled back.   
  
"Hey." He mumbled, not caring how lame it sounded as the smile didn't leave.  
  
"Hey back." She said lowly with a little laugh, her hand coming up to cup his cheek. Her thumb running along the stubble on his face. "Some night huh?"  
  
"Some night." He chuckled in agreement.   
  
"I hate to ask but..is this- are you-" Ellie bit her lip as she stumbled over her words, not knowing the right way to ask as she was nervous for the answer.  
  
"Ellie." Nick pulled her to him, his hand running softly down her naked back. "This is for real, just you and me, I'm done with all of that okay?"  
  
"How are you so sure?" Ellie asked in a small voice, snuggling closer into his warmth. Nick grabbed the blanket at the end of the bed and pulled it over them. She sighed happily as the chill from the night air coming in through the window was blocked from her body.   
  
"Because-" Nick tucked a piece of hair behind her ear that fell in her face. "I never knew it could be this way."  
  
There was no empty feeling, no disappointment in himself..he felt happy. Completely and utterly _happy_.


End file.
